B Factor [n.] -
A hard-to-describe influence or quality; an important element with unknown consequences; also written "X-factor"



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22 April 2010

My cerebral cortex is at capacity!

*sigh*

Once again, I've been neglecting my blog and I haven't been going crazy with Crackberry memos which means my brain is about to burst... In fact, it probably should have by now. I've been sooo busy/ stressed/ overwhelmed/ etc. that I've honestly become numb, in a sense, and block out all emotion.

Speaking of emotion, I've had a lot to deal with mentally lately. I've lost a couple people, gained a couple, and had some lost ones come back. In the words of Jay Z, "You win some to lose some." I have only had the time (or maybe the desire) to cry over one loss and that's certainly out of the ordinary for me. I believe tears release weakness and I've been keeping everything pent up. -smh-

Throughout everything I've gone through recently, I've learned something from every single loss and gain, and was reminded the past should always remain just that. JW moved to Chicago on me!!! (Haha.. No I'm not having a fit.. Right now. LOL) On April 22, I'm still waiting to be told it was a big April Fool's prank. ;o) I was crushed over that, but after all was said and done, it couldn't have played out any better.

It's weird how things play out and people come into your life for [whatever] reasons and when they're not what you had initially hoped or expected it kinda sucks... But then if you hang in there, you may realize they're someone you still want in your life. To be able to have them around as whatever they were [originally] meant to be (I believe in fate) makes it all worth it.

Then, referring to the people I mentioned earlier that left and came back into my life, there's JC. *sigh* I seriously just got a bad feeling, almost a bad aura, when I thought of him so I'll keep this brief. It just amazes me how sometimes in relationships we're drawn to - almost dependent on - negative energy from someone we love to hate... Like, who literally makes it hard to see the line between the two. Such a slippery slope! With that being said, P!nk's Please Don't Leave Me is epic and couldn't describe that situation any better. I'm so glad mistakes like those are made to teach lessons early on.



Better now than later is what my mom says. Sounds about right.

BiG THiNGS POPPiNG in seven days! :o) I kinda can't wait. I'm kinda nervous. Kinda not. Kinda anxious. Super excited. "Eeeeeeeeeek!!!" :o) Details on that in upcoming posts.

I visited a certain someone last weekend. Shoutout to "you" for having me and showing me a beautiful time. Stay blessed and always humble... ;o) I had fun; they were a great host... Until my last day there. I'm over that though... Do you like my pics?



Aaand this week my right hand woman Tarraha is in town! Perfect timing... This was so overdue! I might be the happiest person on the planet! Yesterday was the seafood buffet at Mystic Lake (I'm 50 lbs heavier than I was in the above pics) and tomorrow I might hit downtown. Again, miiight... But this is us today!



So that, in a nutshell, sums it up for now... I'm about to post right after this about a dope ass discovery I made earlier today! :o) Waaait for iiit...
--qbxo

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